I Am Sorry, Mommy!

My mommy lives in far away California, yet it seems that she resides just around the corner.  That is because she always makes it a point to call on the phone long distance and ask to be updated by the state of our lives. Whenever there is something troubling the family, especially on the the financial matters, mommy trouble shoots, without fail. And through the years, mommy seems so pacified when everything is all right. Mommy finds contentment when everyone is all right.

Mommy is thoughtful and ultra generous. Kindness is her second nature. And she shares this selfless loving  with everyone. And never does she expect anyone to return the favor.  She just wants all her loved ones to succeed and be happy, too.

Well, I think I had taken my mommy for granted in so many ways.  My whole life had depended on her as if she is this superwoman who can make miracles. Twice when I was hospitalized, she came to the rescue even if she herself was ailing. And I listened to her narration of her pain as if that will be gone when we are finished talking.  Mine is more severe.  And I am the child.  She was the mommy. She can handle it.

But now mommy’s pain is absorbing.  She couldn’t even stand without tremendous aches penetrating her physical being. Amidst this, she still wants to know if we are all right

A few days ago, mommy called to ask me why I wrote something inappropriate about her and daddy.  I was taken aback because I never would compromise my parents in the internet. But as it is, I retaliated at once to defend myself. I did not even pause to think that some language could come in strong for my weary mommy. It didn’t occur to me that my words, always straightforward , could simply pierce a sensitive and sad heart.

So, I am sorry, mommy.  It was never my intention to cause you pain.  If I had broken your bones and slighted your soul, please forgive me. My words sometimes come in brutal and frank. It is just the way I am. But I will do my best to restrain myself.

I love you,  mommy. I never want to hurt you. (:

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